Pididdle

Hi Friends,
Tom and Tucker are away for a camping/Legoland birthday celebration with one of Tucker's good friends and his Dad. I wasn't up to hosting a party this year. He's having a blast.

I lost some sleep last night. I got angry about my situation. This does not happen to me often. I guess it's good. I'm already tired of dealing with cancer. I'm tired of the chemo (I've only had 3 sessions) and I'm tired of it running my life. I want my old life back. I want my kids to see me healthy. I don't want to have to chose between going to church and taking my 4 yr. old to see the Curious George movie, because I don't have the energy to do both. I'm missing my 8 yr. old birthday, because I can't walk around Legoland. I'm missing out. I want to work out whenever I want to. I want to teach Jazzercise. I don't want to get used to laying around.

I want to fight this cancer. I want to beat it. I want enlightenment. I know this is happening for a reason. I know that my God is with me, holding me up, and loving me. My family is awesome. My 4 yr. old thinks it's fun to sit around and watch movies with Mommy (even if I have to suffer through Blues Clues a million times). Forgive me for rambling. I can hardly sort out my feelings, sometimes.

What does pididdle mean? It's a word my mother used whenever she felt frustrated or indignant.

Love,
Karen